The Real Cause of Emotional Pain
This past weekend I went to a gathering at my daughter’s school. It was a school-wide party where all parents and kids join together, with food treats, play, and sharing.
It was supposed to be fun and joyful, yet I spent the majority of the first half of the event in pain.
The reason? Well.. it would be embarrassing, even somewhat laughable if I tell the truth.
It was simply because: my wife bought some cheese cake to share with the kids.
Well.. why such a big deal? Just a few cheese cakes? Especially when the kids were quite happy eating the tasty cakes?
It’s because, well.. many years ago I stumbled upon the site that claimed “The Website the Meat Industry Doesn’t Want You to See.” And have since changed my diet.
I have since come across other well-formed arguments and evidences, such as those of T. Colin Campbell (The China Study), Hiromi Shinya, and Jane Plant.
Although I’d still occasionally take on small doses of diary products in the form of bread or cookies, I’ve pretty much avoided whole diary stuff such as milk and cheese for years.
This is of course a very personal choice, yet one that I still would hope my children and family could/would adopt, for their health or for making the planet a better place.
All well-intended, but it becomes a source of pain and argument when things are not going according to my intention. Especially when I treat this as a personal “dogma”.
I realized the true reason to my negative emotions and pain this morning, upon listening to some spiritual audio lessons: I was looking to an external cause to my pain and sorrow. For example, that of my wife, or to “not having consulted with me!”
Yet, when we turn the causes to our issues to an external factor, at that moment we give up our control to our life, happiness, and ability to change things.
Simply because, well.. everything besides ourselves, are beyond ourselves ultimately, and while we may want to affect it to the ways we wish, it’s often futile attempts as the only “being” we can really control is ourselves.
The entrepreneur mentor Darren Hardy mentioned something similar when he received a lifetime lesson in a personal growth workshop, when the speaker told the audience that you’re “100% responsible” for all the bad things that happened to you in life.
Only when we’re willing to acknowledge this fact and take on full responsibility (control) of what happens in life, will we start to be able to move towards an upward spiral and true happiness in life.
This morning as a first step, I decided that I will apologize to my wife, for not being tolerant and respectful to her food choice in the past.
