The Key Driver towards Achievement
My mom visited me yesterday.
It was about certain concerns she had with our education decisions. We have our differences. Although in the end the differences still remained, there were some positive mutual understanding.
When I drove her to the train station for her to get back, she expressed concerns about my work / business as well. As they’re still not yet “stable” enough.
I really appreciate how I’m being constantly “watched” by family elders, as while in the past they felt cumbersome and bothering, nowadays I can see beyond the words to feel the love and concerns they have for us.
It’s a Chinese thing. Although I do believe that parents everywhere love genuinely their children at heart, regardless of culture or ethnicity.
I’ve been having some self-dialog lately on my parents’ effect on me, particularly on how my mom’s shaped my value systems and motivations in life.
As far as I can recall, I was never “good enough” in her eyes. There can always be something “better” I could or should do. Whether it was school (I was expelled by my university and graduated last in class), my “degree” (I ended up getting a Ph.D), or lately, my “social status” and “business success”.
In all the cases I could recall (but of course, it’s got personal bias), what I did achieve were things that “naturally should happen” because I had such talents, while there can always be “the next” on the achievement ladder.
This attitude sort of propelled me towards various choices and pursuits, but the underlying theme always have been: I will “prove” to you I can still achieve something extraordinary, though not in the fields or standards you specified.
I loved computer games and started playing them since age 7, she didn’t like that.
I wanted to go around Taiwan on a bike trip at age 20, she tried to stop me as much as she can.
I wanted to do a startup after finally graduated from school, she didn’t approve the idea and had been telling me to “go back to academia” even till this day.
Nevertheless I know she loves me, and frankly, I wouldn’t have become a game/virtual world researcher, or now the founders of three companies, if it weren’t for her “push” at me.
I know that, because I’ve recently realized that she’s actually the best coach in the world for me, and I might have just asked for that in a past life.
Deep down, I also know that she’d be proud of me.
